Fall

Off and on sweater weather.
Curled toes just barely hitting the floor that smells like stale beer and your clean laundry.
Beginning to involve those feelings where you're hugging so tightly that you might explode, and it feels so good, that it makes you nervous.

I run out of things to say when I really need to say them. It's that nightmare you have when you're trying to scream something at the top of your lungs, because you're terrified, or it's very important - but nothing comes out. Except this is reality and I'm fucking speechless.
I'm terrified of being too hard to understand. Or just not capable of being able to face all my demons. Sometimes hiding from them night to night. Either emotionally unavailable or just too available. Bad timing. But I cross my fingers, close my eyes, and tell myself i'm brave.
I've got all these friends that are within walking distance or a quick bike ride. Living in a fantastic apartment with rad ladies. Eating great food, drinking good beer, and having memorable conversations.
Chicago is something really special to me right now. An indefinite home I'm not ready to leave anytime soon.